2023/12/31: reminiscing on 2023
o.g. told me halfway through the year that despite what i'd accomplished, crazier challenges lie ahead. i continue to take his advice, "move slow"...
time is an odd construct but for what it's worth, 2023 was a year i cried a lot 🥹🧵🪡
i can freely admit that because i gained a lot more for myself once i laid certain things to rest. but the inner peace didn't come without an arduous set of conversations that i had to initiate, starting with myself 🧘🏻
the hardest conversations to have are the ones where all parties involved realize things are not what they used to be 🤔
but this year i had to be the one to draw several lines in the sand because people were not necessarily forthcoming with this information. we all got used to sweeping the madness under the rug, myself included 🤐🧹
literally we are a society that would rather read about sorrows than try to engage with it more meaningfully. the social media that we typically subscribe to merely addresses and exacerbates our feelings, and doesn't resolve them the way we tend to think 😅
this year i chastised my own mother for using youtube videos from a priest as a substitute to avoid talking to a mental health professional. so if you thought i was going to hold you on some unaccountable shit, you better duck down when i come off the hip 😡
fckn bxtchessss 😤😅
back to my point though 😂
2023 was the year i really picked up on some game from people who heard me and pointed some shit out, even from the grave 👀
i lost my last remaining grandma, and an ex-boss from a previous company that treated me as one of his own even when i didn't ask for it. even when i was literally dying on the inside from addiction both times, i managed just enough to be able to pay my respects 🥹
doing the above during a sudden move from san diego to los angeles almost broke me 😤
for all that i lost this year though, i gained some serious o.g.s that have no problem reminding me i have an angle and an opportunity that shouldn't go to waste 👁️
so for what it's worth, shit could've always been worse, and practicing mindfulness through the tears is probably what keeps me going✌🏼🖤
fucking glasses i swear lmao 😂